i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
