man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
