Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
