It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fuck appropriateness.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
