I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
