i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
