sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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