Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
