Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
