We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We smell like vodka and hangover
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