I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
