that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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