Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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