I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
