he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
