I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
