Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize