I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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