Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
