when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
