a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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