wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
