Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize