I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
