these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
