i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
