i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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