My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
