I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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