Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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