in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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