a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
