How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
