Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
