I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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