those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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