I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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