She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
