Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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