I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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