Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize