This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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