just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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