Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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