her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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