I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
