YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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