honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize