need another drink. this is the easiest way
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
