I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
