his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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