Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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