I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
