The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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