I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
