I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
