sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
