My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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