I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
