He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
