I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize