can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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