How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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